Elizabeth Warren Tells Dying Steve Jobs “You Owe Me” a Free iPad
October 9, 2011 § Leave a comment
SATIRE by HOWIE SWAIM | Reporting from Washington, VA | October 9, 2011
A comatose Steve Jobs listened patiently as Massachusetts Senate hopeful Elizabeth Warren berated him for not giving away more “free shit” and reminded him that she was “still waiting” for her free iPad 2.
After reprimanding Mr. Jobs for not adhering to his “social contract,” Ms. Warren briefly left the room only to return and chastise him for being “a callous factory owner” who, while employing tens-of-thousands, “should have done more for society.”
In what his doctors described as an involuntary muscle twitch, Mr. Jobs reportedly then bitch-slapped Ms. Warren.
While being escorted from the dying CEO’s bedside, Ms. Warren was observed by one reporter texting the following: ”Screw you, Steve! Sincerely, Elizabeth Warren — Sent from my iPhone.”