Fires From D.C. Homeless Camps Provide Festive Backdrop to Presidential Fundraiser
September 28, 2011 § 1 Comment
SATIRE by HOWIE SWAIM | Reporting from Washington, VA | September 28, 2011
“They’re pretty, aren’t they?” remarked the First Lady as we chatted on the South Portico’s balcony during a recent Presidential Fundraiser.
“What’s that?” I replied, taking a slow swig of bourbon.
“The fires.” she said. “They look like…well, like distant, happy fireflies.”
Flickering lights, emanating from dozens of D.C. homeless camps, punctuated the night’s fallen horizon. I couldn’t help but to envision Roman legions preparing a siege of the Capitol.
“Soon there will be enough of them,” the First Lady informed me “that we’ll no longer need to pay for exterior illumination of the White House.”
I paused, attempting to calculate how much that might save the average taxpayer.
“Wonder, what?” the First Lady asked.
“I wonder if this is what a former administration was predicting when they spoke of ‘a thousand points of light’?”
“Maybe.” she replied. “But you have to admit they’re pretty.”.
Realizing that I’d left my checkbook at home, I thanked the First Lady for her company and refilled my drink at the bar—I needed one.
I departed the opulence of the White House gala in search of another party…any party.